Haven't posted in quite a while. I've been meaning to, but it's hard to make myself do it at times. I went through a valley a few weeks ago worse than the initial diagnosis. I guess we had a few particularly bad meltdowns, and the realization that he's only 5, and the fear that it could get a LOT worse. I dunno, but I spent the better part of a week feeling that I could burst into tears at any moment and did a few times. That is very much not like me...I cry over sappy movies, yes, but real life very rarely. I finally told my Sunday School class, asked for prayer, and began feeling better the next day. So anyway....I'm finding myself praying more, and feeling more optimistic.

Every time I go to school either a teacher, an aide, the nurse...somebody, always stops me to tell me how much they love Justin. "He just smiles all the time", "he's the happiest kid I know", "he just lights up my day", etc... one even told me "everyone should have a child like him". I am thankful beyond measure for this - he obviously saves his worst behavior for me. I suppose that is a good thing, but it also wears on me emotionally that they get so much of the loving, happy Justin, and I get that mixed with outbursts of angry, violent, wild Justin. If only I could keep him the loving, happy, smiley boy all the time......